{"id":278,"date":"2025-01-31T08:50:41","date_gmt":"2025-01-31T08:50:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thejournalingmagazine.com\/?p=278"},"modified":"2025-01-31T08:50:42","modified_gmt":"2025-01-31T08:50:42","slug":"the-day-i-gave-birth-to-an-octopus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thejournalingmagazine.com\/index.php\/2025\/01\/31\/the-day-i-gave-birth-to-an-octopus\/","title":{"rendered":"The Day I Gave Birth to an Octopus"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It sounds absurd, doesn\u2019t it? Giving birth to an octopus? Yet here I am, telling you it totally happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not metaphorically. Not in a dream. A real, flesh-and-tentacles octopus emerged from me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sort of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The kind with eight limbs that multitask better than any human ever could; though, to be fair, they do lose their phone mid-task just like the rest of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When it moves like an octopus, it looks like an octopus; it must be an octopus right? I mean, what even are those limbs? Arms? Legs? Something in between? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whatever they are, they\u2019re capable of cooking dinner, brushing teeth and drawing and painting 10 different realistic artworks with all those hands and feet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As you probably suspected, the whole giving-birth thing was like being drop-kicked into the ninth circle of hell, then clawing my way back up, only to realize I left my dignity somewhere between having NOOOO contractions at all, a nurse staff that was only busy watching world championship ice-skating and my mom and husband attacking them to force them to help me after 3 days of birth hell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Also, I\u2019m working on a book about it. Translating it into English takes forever when you\u2019re also managing life post-octopus.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now this very octopus-person-daughter is documented in the worldfsmous \u2018Ripley\u2019s Believe It or Not<\/a>\u2019 book. How about that; big eyes emoji here.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If they hadn\u2019t, I\u2019d still be just as proud; because surviving the absolute disaster that was her birth, felt like a world record in itself.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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